Haiku for the Repressed && Brutally Forward

Ugh its almost 2,
Want some weed, some dick, and you...
Whats a girl to do?

Dali Haiku

_Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate - Salvador Dali

Death all around me
Ugh, that damn pomegranate
Mom tried to warn me....

*In ancient Greek mythology there was a story about Zeus's daughter Persephone. She was in a forrest one day when Hades came from the Underworld and snatched her up because he wanted to marry her (despite the fact that he's her damn uncle). So anyways she's in the Underworld and he gives her a pomegranate (which is like the fruit of death in Greek mythology). Oh i forgot to mention her mom (Zeus's sister Demeter) was sad && looking all over the place for her so when she caught wind of Persephone being with Hades she got at him like "gimme my daughter back" && he was like "i will if she hasnt eaten or drank anything from the Underworld. But...she ate 6 seeds from the pomegranate. So he agreed to let her live 6months above ground each year w| her family, && stay 6months in the Underworld w| him. Supposedly this is why we have different seasons. So yea thats just a brief explanation of wtf im talking about in my poem lol

Untitled Poem 3.11.10

_The Ghost of You - Tim Cantor

On this pedestal i pose, you all watch
Twisting, turning, fro everyone's viewing pleasure
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?
They put me on display, tear me apart with judging eyes
Staring, waiting, and to my surprise
I GIVE IN....
Colors flying around me, this big grand show.
Everyone applauds, they love it
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?
Just a puppet in this world, strings holding me back
But no, I just cant go out like that!
Snap these strings, set myself free...
No more will I find myself asking,
WHAT ABOUT ME?

Life-Long Love Affair

Sitting back reminiscing on when It all began
When we first met, having all of you in hand
Caressing so sweet, warmth surrounding my every being
Mind clouded yet clearer, eyes suddenly seeing
It was 9th grade year, we met through Dee
After all these years it was you that kept me
Sane
In an otherwise insane world
Strong like a man, with the name of a girl
Mary.... last name Jane
As I wrap you all around me I forget my pain
You sing to me, hold me, then rock me to sleep
Th homie lover friend I found in you I'll forever keep
W| you in my life I'll never care
Negativity bounces off me as long as yur there
Just promise that when I call you'll come runnin to me
Unleash my wisdom, unchain my creativity, set me
FREE

_miszluhv

Luhv Junkie....

So I've come to realize that I'm addicted to love. I've tried hiding from it, running from it, denying it... nothing works. I think some people in this world really vibe off of love. Like modern day hippies or something. Like idk I've tried the player thing and the faithful in love thing then the single "i don't need a man" thing. i enjoyed each at the time but when the lights go out and I'm alone with time to think to myself, i realize that i am addicted to love. I constantly find myself falling for somebody. I'm starting to see that the harder i try to fight it, the easier it is to catch feelings. I sorta lost track of where i was going with this blog though. lol i answered the phone and started rambling about random things with my bestie so i totally jumped outside of my mind for a moment. All i know is I'll be glad when love decides to settle on somebody and join us together. Preferably my taurus ;) Lol ok let me stop. Well no i guess i can continue now that I'm off the phone. Plus, saying the taurus thing brought another point. I really have to get this off my chest. I am really feeling this guy I'm talking to right now. Like i want us to be official but right now isn't really the best time to bring this up. He's not really himself lately but for verrrry understandable reason. I just have all these feelings and emotions that need to be told and i have to just keep quiet. I don't want to pressure him or make him feel uncomfortable especially because we discussed our terms when we first started catching feelings for one another. So yea it's not really love but I'm infatuated with this boy and its starting to kill me to think he doesn't really know. Then the fear of things to come after this deep convo I'm trying to have is really disturbing too. Ugh anyways I'm on the phone with my fake baby mama lol listening to her drama after i just told her all my drama. Having girl talk you know how that goes. Adios until next time....

Long time no blog....

Man..... it has really been F O R E V E R since I've even been on blogger.com let alone actually blog something. So much has happened since I've last blogged. I'm a NoHo resident in student housing w| 2 roommates. Still doing the graphic design thing at Ai - Hollywood. In my 5th quarter. 7 more until my bachelor's |yay..!}. Still single, thought i found something great but as of lately I'm not too sure. But i never stay down so with that being said I'll go ahead and randomly choose tonight's topic.



So it's Valentines Day, technically |it's currently 1:30am| I love this holiday probably as much as Christmas, Halloween, && my b'day. But the past 2 years, 09 and 2010, haven't been so hot for me. Then again who's to say that they weren't good just because i didn't have an actual Valentine.? Last year i had a bf but he went on a family trip so i was stuck alone. However, i did spend time w| my siblings and actually had a blast. This year I'm sort of talking to someone but i didn't hear from him last night or tonight so tomorrow, er... later today doesn't look very promising as far as romance goes. But does v'day have to be romantic.? It's possible that this is what our society wants us to believe. Don't get me wrong... I'm not the bitter type to try ad make v'day all about something other than the usual thing. I'm all about love and the mushy stuff, but maybe v'day doesn't have to be all about that every year. I know when I'm w| someone who i share that special bond w|, everyday is like v'day. I've had more romantic encounters on a Wednesday than i have had on most of my v'day dates. So maybe v'day is just a reminder... like an anti-hatred day. Making all of us a little more aware of love no matter who we're sharing it w| whether its our lover, friend, relative, puppy... whatever. So w| that being said... just enjoy the 14th and make the most of it even if you're alone. Because in all actuality you're not the only one alone... making no one truly alone for v'day. That's it for now tho... I'm going to try to get back on my blog game tho. Adios.!

Ehh..Matters of the Heart....

So I'm thinking. A lot. Lately more so about my love life, er lack of actually. Lol. So yea like lately I've been chilling w.| my exes [there's only 2 don't trip lol] && I've been hoping at least one would realize that we should try again. Pathetic right.? Lol but seriously i just seem to mesh better w.| the 2 of them. One is younger yet he somehow knows exactly what to say at just the right moment. && I'm super comfy around him, i can be myself 100%. Then the other is my age, 2months older but same diff. He does all the right things at the right moments but is sorta quiet. But being around him eases my stress, calms me, makes me feel safe && warm. However there's an awkwardness that i cant quite understand. He almost acts nervous around me, but it cnt be bqus he likes m in the way i want him to. It just doesn't seem like he has those feelings anymore, it's been 2 years since the break up so who can blame him.? But now I've come to the conclusion that my recent activities are not healthy. Spending time w.| them keep me happy at that exact moment && maybe lasts the rest of the day but i want something a tad more long term. It's frustrating bqus i could be missing out on someone trying to stay free in case one of them speak up. The more && more i think of it i realize tho, that I'm going to have to stop this eventually. Maybe not cold turkey but enough to give someone a chance. The problem is... who gets this chance.? I mean there's really no one i see myself deeply involved w.| in the future that I'm speaking to now. Why cant i just find that artsy guy that listens to weird music && loves video games at least half as much as i do.? Like a guy that has the deepest convos && wisdom beyond his years. A best friend, a teacher, a lover, all wrapped into one. A guy that can be my blanket, my tissue, my blunt, my song, or my joke when i need it most. Idk maybe i expect too much...